vits

When I was 6, we moved from Fond du Lac, Wisconsin (pronounced fond-da-lack wiss-caa-n-sin) to Mentor, Ohio (pronounced men-ner o-hi-yo). I was six, so I don't really remember much of what was happening, except we were moving to a big house in the same city as Garfield's house. Like the cat - wow that was exciting - no like the President. I was six, I didn't care too much about presidents past or present. I do remember being told however, that soda was called pop and bubblers were called water fountains. Just a heads up on that one and when you are six, those things are important.

Flash forward, it has just occurred to me that Cleveland isn't called Cleveland, its pronounced cleve-lin or perhaps cleve-lind depending on the liaison with the next word. And I have discovered that this may indeed be the biggest stumbling block in my objective to successfully promote Cleveland in South Africa.

Q: "Where are you from?"

A: "I'm from Cleve-lind"

Q: "Where?"

A: "Cleve-lind... Cleve-land"

Q: "Oh - Ohio, Cleve-land rocks" (which by the way is pronounced with an "a" not an "o" if you come from the rockin city of Cleveland - consequently this also becomes a problem). "And you prefer it here, hey?" (let me not answer that question)

Now reverse the situation. I'm hanging out with Geoff and he says this is one of my oldest, bestest friends visiting from South Africa.

Q: "South Africa?"

A: "South Africa."

Q: "Where in South Africa?"

A: "Jo'burg"

Q: "Huh?"

A: "Johannesburg"

Q: "Oh, Johannesburg. Do you like it there?" (meaning of course that they have no idea where Johannesburg is located although everyone who lives here is pretty convinced that this is indeed the centre of the universe - the answer is .... Jo'burg, not 42 kind of thing)

Without taking too much notice of the way the stereotypical Q responds when they have narrowed down which two places I belong to, lets go back to the difficulties in communication. I actually have a preference for calling Johannesburg "Jozi" which is quite acceptable here, but certainly an unknown place in Cleveland, just as "shy-town" (phonetically in order to give a better example of the confusion) would be here. In any case, I was a little concerned that Jo'burg was a little un-recognisable. I mean I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have said Jo-han-es-burg in full. Look, I still don't say Durbs, but thats really because I think it sounds lame. It is a much classier city when pronounced "Dur-ban".

So thinking back to a year or two ago, Steve was having an issue with the pronounciation of Kabul as "cobble" - which really is a bastardisation I believe. Look, I don't get offended when people say men-tor or cleve-land, nor do I get offended when people say men-ner or cleve-lin. Its kind of one of those things that isn't important. My sister used to live in Loo-a-vul and Nawr-lins is 50nder water, but whatever. So the actual pronounciation doesn't bother me, what bothers me is having to repeat myself over and over again. I do this enough with the kids, why on earth should I have to do this with adults? I mean, does anything else come to mind when you hear Cleve-lind? Of course not (though please correct me if I am wrong). I think what actually happens is people want me to say I am from New York so they can say that they've been there or that their friend has and so on and so forth. But I'm simply not gonna do it. And thanks to my recent investment into Cleveland t-shirts, I can now say "I'm from Cleve-lind" and point to my t-shirt for proper spelling of the city. This will however pose a problem when I go back to the States with a Wits t-shirt. I mean, "I go to the University of the Witswatersrand" will hardly be an easy one to point at as it is pronounced vits-va-ters-raant. This is why of course it is called Wits (vits) - cause its way easier, just like men-ner.