confused or not?

The other night I got a little drunk, okay, maybe a little bit more than that, which could most likely account for the confusion that followed. I remember being a lot drunk the first time I saw Reservoir Dogs and in probably one of the worst conditions when I saw U-Turn for the first times. So the first time I saw Reservoir Dogs, I didn’t understand it. Contributing to that was probably the fact that I watched it with Erich who was raving about the brilliance of the movie and Tarantino and there was probably too much pressure mixed with my alcohol. U-Turn was screwed up the second time I saw it and I believe in retrospect, that it was the movie that made me feel more drunk than I actually was.

What happened the other night though is slightly more troubling, because I wasn’t watching anything with a twisted plot line or special effects and I wasn’t watching it for the first time either. What I was watching was the British version of The Office, the second part of the Christmas specials. An odd choice for something to watch when you’ve been drinking, but it was Oscar’s choice actually. He just picked it out and I put it on. But really, I watch that series and that specific episode more than necessary. What can I say, I like repeats.

But what happened while I was watching is really the weird thing. I got crazy homesick. Not a little homesick. Not a medium weight homesick. But a bona fide intense to the point of silly homesick. Maybe this doesn’t sound weird, but I got homesick watching a British comedy that I have never seen outside of South Africa. Nothing about the show reminds me of home, save for maybe a character or so. Getting homesick doesn’t scare me, it happens too much to even have an impact. I am always running on at least a minimal level of homesickness. What scares me is actually the merging of accents and related cultural accessories that is happening in my brain. You see, I am one of those Americans who can distinguish between the various English language accents. I can narrow down to country level at least and in the case of England, I can sometimes even get more specific.

But since then, there have been lots of little, barely blips on the radar type signs that are compelling me to watch The Office again. Like the actress who plays Dawn being on the cover of a magazine, which was the only magazine, out of hundreds on the wall that caught my eye. And then a colleague asked if I ever watch that show. And so on. Little things. And it contributes to my confusion – because homesickness should not follow directly from The Office, but it does. But maybe it is normal. Or maybe I am getting homesick because of the confusion.

Or maybe I am just freaking homesick. Who would doubt it? No one, just like no one doubts my confusion…