no shoes

Being broke while you have kids means that you have to give up a lot of things you would normally spend money on. For us, the first thing to go was clothes. Not that I was ever one of those people who spent a lot or spent often on clothes, although I think Steve was. I don't struggle with clothing issues the way a lot of people do. This has primarily been for two reasons: my wardrobe has limited colour in it and my closet runs like a business. It is organised to the letter. For a start, all of my clothes get fully done up - buttons it get buttoned, zippers get zipped, that sort of thing. And items only get put in the closet after being ironed and placed on hangers - facing in the same direction. The primary division is by colour - in this order: white, grey, black, cream/tan and for the first time: red. (Until recently, anything I owned of colour was placed out of distraction on shelves or in drawers.) After that you get sub-divisions within each category, as follows: pants, tank tops & sleeveless shirts, short sleeve shirts (with no buttons), short sleeve button-up shirts, long sleeve shirts, long sleeve button up shirts, sweaters, sweaters with buttons, suit jackets, skirts, and finally dresses. That pattern follows in each colour category. Things that get folded, also sit in stacks of colour. Its a business, but if I want a shirt, I know exactly where it is. If its not there, its not available to wear.

This particular system has been with me for over half my life as well, so it runs smoothly. This also means that I know if I need to buy something - which on the whole, has been a rare experience. Because my clothes get such good care and I can see where they are, I really don't need to replace often. So when I arrived and decided to stay in South Africa, this became a bit of a problem, because I brought carry-on luggage only. I had just enough for a holiday, with a wash in the middle. So then I had to borrow what I could, buy what I couldn't borrow and do without items I couldn't afford to buy. Then I got pregnant (BIG), and then I lost the weight to about 3 sizes bigger than normal, then I got pregnant (BIG) and then finally, finally, I was at a stage when it was time to work on building up my wardrobe again. Only, by that time, we had no money, so it has been a struggle. Although I think I may have finally reached the point, where I am covered for any event in any of the usual colours.

Steve on the other hand, has neither the closet run like Swiss trains, nor the weight fluctuations and travel that require wardrobe updates. Which is why he looked at me in dismay when the invitation for Thursday night's dinner said: formal/traditional (yeah, we live in Africa and no, no one shows up in loin cloths - only very bad prints). Suit jackets he has none. Nice pants: one pair, never been hemmed - which I think is cool, but doesn't work for an event with a formal dress code. He has a few joke ties - most of which I have appropriated as belts to suit the changes in my waistline. Nice shoes. You see, even if we have money, we have kids - and Steve's job reqires he goes out to film child miners in the mountains in DRC, not step into board rooms - what would he need formal shoes for? I have A dress I wear for this. Long, straight, black, backless and a high slit up the back. Sexy, stylish, works for everything except freezing cold weather. Done, I am sorted. Steve still has nothing to wear.

In a moment of insight, I call one of our stylists to see if maybe he can help me pull together a suit. Cause, yeah, we can't afford to buy Steve a proper suit right now, we can't even spend the money for fabric even if I was crazy enough to sew one up. Gareth, says, sure, with pleasure, come over - I've got stuff laying around, what size is he? The pleasure of having stylists around you. It makes all the difference some times. I sat down and watched the performance: try this jacket on - it fits fine, but the colour is off, and this one, nice, here try the pants, need to be tacked, but they will work, this shirt, no, this one?, maybe, here, try this one, not bad, put the jacket back on, good, good, and this tie? It was almost a comedy for me. When I wasn't busy rehanging, I sat back and just smiled at what was going on around me. When it was all settled, I was in such a good mood, I told him he could buy matching shoes (which he needs, otherwise, he could have just gone with this the un-hemmed pants). And I just kept smiling. It was kind of like watching my life as a movie. And of course I have decided to make friends with all of our stylists who work with ladies clothing, because, while I love my dress, you've all seen it before.

But our dinner is all sorted (except I think all of our makeup and hair people are working, which means I have to do it on my own) for the cost of a pair of shoes and dry cleaning and I am feeling a bit smug - see what I pulled off... However, we still have no money to buy clothes, which means that no matter how much care they have received, I am about to walk to a closet that is thread bare, if highly organised. And while I will find what I need for work today, I am kinda hoping my suit-high keeps me going until we have money. Which I am pretty sure it won't because, even if I have a sufficient number of black tank tops, my kids keep on growing. That means they need the clothes, and socks, and shoes, and jackets (yes it gets freaking cold here) and of course they need the food that keeps them growing, but that is another story.